Christmas thoughts

I have been listening to Andrew Peterson's Behold the Lamb of God: The TRUE Tall Tale of the Coming of Christ. It is a wonderful cd with original music that chronicles the story of Christ from Moses leading the children of Israel out of Egypt through Christ's birth. It is very succinct, telling the story in about 30 minutes in a very dramatic and real way. Our worship team has performed it 2 years now and it is always very moving.

This year the story of the birth of Christ strikes me even harder since I have become the mother of a baby boy myself. When I listen to Away In A Manger, I really question whether Jesus, "no crying he made". I'm sure even Jesus as a baby had to let Mary know when he was hungry! Peterson's song Labor of Love makes me tear up everytime and I wanted to share it with you:

It was not a silent night - There was blood on the ground

You could hear a woman cry in the alley that night

On the streets of David's town.

And the stable was not clean. And the cobblestones were cold.

And little Mary full of grace with the tears upon her face

Had no mother's hand to hold.

It was a labor of pain. It was a cold sky above

But for the girl on the ground in the dark

With every beat of her beautiful heart

It was a labor of love.

Noble Joseph by her side - Callused hands and weary eyes

There were no midwives to be found On the streets of David's town

In the middle of the night.

So he held her and he prayed - shafts of moonlight on his face.

But the baby in her womb

He was the maker of the moon

He was the Author of the faith

That could make the mountains move

It was a labor of pain

It was a cold sky above

But for the girl on the ground in the dark

Every beat of her beautiful heart

It was a labor of love.

For little Mary full of grace - With the tears upon her face

It was a labor of love.

When I think of my labor story and the complications with it. Being surrounded by experts in modern medicine and remembering how much we prayed and David's concerned face as I began laboring I cannot even imagine Mary and Joseph's night but I feel that I have a little more empathy with Mary's story. As I stare at my quickly growing little boy I remember how Mary "treasured all these things in her heart" Luke 2:19 She didn't have a digital camera to capture each moment as Jesus grew but I'm sure she enjoyed them as much - or maybe more- than I am enjoying watching Reed grow. My prayer this Christmas is that Reed will follow in Jesus' footsteps and will grow "in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men." (Luke 2:52)

Merry Christmas!

First Trick!

Reed rolled over for the first time yesterday (Thursday)! I had him up on the couch cushion and he rolled over 2 times to his right (from stomach to back). So I put him on the floor and he rolled over to his left! This morning he did it multiple times again so I was able to get it on video and he was able to do it over Skype for Bittle (David' mom). According to some baby milestone charts only a few 3 month olds can turn over but most turn over by 4 months. Reed is only 11 1/2 weeks and will be 3 months in 10 days! ( If we counted from his due date he would have just turned 2 months!) As I try to type this posted he is nursing sporadicly - stopping to smile up at me and coo! Life just gets better and better!

First Road Trip

We took Reed on his first road trip to Florida (south of Jacksonville) to visit his Great Grandparents (my mother's parents). He was a great traveler and spent the majority of the trip like this:

It was a very special weekend. My grandparents are 94 and 95 and still live at home. They are both mobile and still do many things on their own. They have been married 73 years and are still very much in love - it is a great thing to watch! Granny and Grandad were so happy to meet Reed. My mom flew down to join the festivities and get 4 generations together. Grandad always tell the story of when I was little he took me to the bank and sat me on the counter while he did his business. He loved showing me off to the people at the bank. He is still banking at the same bank so we took Reed to sit him on the counter so Grandad could show him off. We spent a lot of the time playing with Reed...
Granny rocked Reed to sleep

And Reed listened while Grandad told stories and sang songs to him:

We enjoyed being together and were so thankful to have the 4 generations together.

Schedule

I've decided we need a schedule...Reed needs a schedule. I have enjoyed my baby for 8 weeks now and as the end draws near ("the end" being an eventual return to work) we need to have something that resembles a schedule. My mom was always a big fan of the schedule. I remember during summer and holiday breaks from school, she would always comment on how my brothers and I were out of sorts because we were off our schedule. Early bedtimes were a big part of our schedules. Even in 3rd grade I was going to bed at 7:30. I remember this because this is when I started competitive gymnastics and practices were from 7-9pm on Monday and Wednesday. My mom was really worried about this because it would interfere with bedtime. I don't remember how it all worked out - well the gymnastics was good - but I don't really remember my disposition due to the later bedtime.

So Reed and I started a schedule this morning. What better time to start a baby's schedule than a week and a half before going out of town? :-) But this morning instead of falling back in bed with him at 7:00 and nursing while we both dozed until 9, I got up out of bed and into the rocking chair and fed him while David got ready for work. Then I put Reed on the floor to play with Bentley while I fixed breakfast for myself and David.

I let him play too long and missed my opportunity for a peaceful transition to nap time, so after I calmed his crying, I put him in the swing and he fell right to sleep. I was able to pump, shower, blog, and put a load of laundry away! He is now starting to wake up and I am so excited to be able to hold, feed, and play with him before he goes back to sleep and I continue the projects I have for the day! I know this schedule will take some getting use to. I attempted some of the schedule last night and he slept for 5 hours straight! I know this will be hard but there are rewards!! As the mom it is my job to make sure the hard things are done so that Reed has the opportunity to turn into a well adjusted, disciplined child of God. I pray that he chooses that path!

1 minute with Reed (8 weeks) & Kate (8 months)

Kate came to visit and was so excited to meet Reed! New pictures have been posted on Facebook.

1 minute with Reed - 6 weeks old

I went to the Dr today and she said everything looked good. My BP was 110/70 without medication! She gave me the H1N1 and regular flu vaccinations and I took them to protect Reed since he cannot be innoculated. Reed fell asleep on the way home from the doctors office and I kept him in his car seat until he started waking up - which I thought was worthy of videoing! The kid is full of expressions!

Happy Halloween!

This costume is size 3-6 months so it swallowed him, but was more "pumpkinish" to me that way! The costume kept him so warm that he slept the majority of the time he was in it! All in all, he enjoyed his first holiday. Next year he may even get some candy! More halloween pictures can be seen here.

1 Month!

Reed turned 1 month old this past week. We went to the pediatrician today and he is measuring 6lbs 12oz and 19 1/2 inches long! The test for CF that needed to be repeated came back normal - praise God! Everything is looking good! Here are a few pictures and a video to keep you up to date! You can see more pictures here.

You might want to turn down your volume a little - he gets a little frustrated on his tummy!

New pictures during October

I posted new pictures from our week and weekend with friends and family. Click on the link in the previous post to view the new pictures.

More pictures!

For those of you not on facebook, you can view the latest pictures by clicking on this link.

1 minute with Reed - 10/9/09

1 minute with Reed

It's not the cutest he could be or a very entertaining clip, but this is really for the g'parents anyway. I hope to record 1 minute every week so they can see how much he has changed.

2 weeks old!

We went to the OB this morning and Reed was circumcised. We tried to have this done last week, but the Dr didn't have a device small enough so we had to wait a week. This morning she took his diaper off to see if he had grown enough to have it done. The minute the diaper came off, he sent a stream of pee all over himself and the doctor! It was quite impressive and VERY funny! David and I waited out in the waiting room for them to complete the procedure and when the nurse brought us back she said that everyone wanted to take him home. No way, Jose, he is mine! Amanda had brought us some sugar water that they use in the nursery to help kill the pain and the Dr dipped his pacifier in the sugar water and it definitely had a calming effect! He only fussed for a second on the way to the pediatrician. His eyes looked glazed and he looked like he had been drugged - but it was only the sugar!
At the pediatricians, he measured 18 1/2 inches long (gain of 1 inch from birth) and weighed in at 5 lbs (gain of 13oz since birth). And, for what it's worth, his head measured 32cm. Over the weekend we had recieved a letter from the Dept of Health saying that one of the tests they did while he was in the hospital needed to be repeated because it had a questionable result. The test in question was for Cystic Fibrosis so they took another blood sample while we were there to send off for testing. David made me leave the room because of my aversion to needles. I was standing in the hall waiting to hear him cry, but he never did. David said he slept through the entire thing! It must have been the sugar water.
We are glad to be back home for the day. David and I were both commenting on how it is such a chore to leave the house now - hopefully we will get better at it and it will become smoother and easier to go out!

Pictures

He has arrived!

We arrived at the hospital a little before 8am Monday morning and checked in. When they drew my blood they discovered that toxemia had set in. My blood pressure was the highest it had been, my liver enzymes were elevated, and my platlets were extremely low. To prevent me from going into seizure, the placed me on magnesium which made me feel like I had the flu. When the pitocin kicked in and I started contracting I decided it would be better for me and the baby to have an epidural because of all these complications. (Warning: TMI: David determined that when I had my headphones on there was only 1 orifice that didn't have something in it or on it! I thought was hilarious and asked the nurse if she could find just 1 more thing!) Once the epidural was in, I was better able to handle things, and even able to doze a little (the magnesium made me sluggish). I went from 5cm dialated to 10 in about 30 minutes but everytime there was a contraction, the baby's heartrate would drop to dangerous levels. Even as they were preparing for me to start pushing, there was concern of having to do a c-section because of his distress. We went ahead though and after 3 episodes of pushing - out he came!! The NICU nurses were standing by and after a quick cut of the cord by David, they whisked him away and started their duties. He received high marks (the first of many!) in his initial tests but because of his low birth weight they took him to the NICU for further observation. They let me hold him for about a minute before they took him and he just looked at David and I and was perfectly content! It was amazing! After he spent an hour in the NICU, he was allowed to go to the well baby nursery but had to stay in an incubator for 12 hours. I had to stay on the labor and delivery floor instead of going to the postpartum floor because I had to stay on the magnesium for 24 hours and could only have clear fluids since magnesium inhibits the gag reflex. After delivery my blood pressure dropped and continued to drop into almost dangerous levels - at one point it was 105/50 how crazy is that!?! The low blood pressure made it impossible to keep even clear fluids down. So after battling that for a little while, phenegrin put me out for a few hours and when I awoke, I was able to start the fluids again - cranberry juice, chicken broth, and popsicles never tasted so good!

Around 9pm a nurse brought him down in his incubator for about 30 minutes and we got to stare at him through the glass. Both Grandmothers were still here and we all cried at our little miracle. David and I decided that he would be Reed Matthew Gardner. Our dear friend Amanda was working in the well baby nursery that night and around midnight she wheeled him down to us and let David and I hold him for a total of 5 very short minutes. Up until then it didnt even seem like we had a baby since it had been over 9 hours since I had gotten to hold him last. Around 4am she was able to bring him back down and plug his incubator in next to my bed and around 5:30 I was able to assist in feeding him through the little holes in the side of his "box".

As I write, he is sleeping in his box beside me. David has gone home to get a couple of much needed hours of sleep. They will continue dropping the temperature inside his box until it is room temperature and seeing how well his body keeps a steady temperature. This should take about 3 hours which we are hoping will coincide with me being taken off the magnesium and moved up to postpartum.

From what I have observed so far, and from what Amanda has told me, he is hardly a crier (I'm sure that might change). He cried a little when he got his diaper changed (not by us we haven't got to do that yet...) and when they removed the thermometer from his skins since it was stuck with tape. But as soon as those uncomfortable activities are over, he stops crying almost immediately and goes back to observing the world or falling asleep.

God is so good - we are so blessed. Thank you so much for all of your prayers. He will be checked by EVERYONE tomorrow (pediatrician, audiologist, etc.) but so far it looks like our prayers for a healthy baby have been answered with a resounding YES! Praise the Lord! Throughout this whole pregnancy there has been one set of verses that have resounded with me. I have hung them on the wall of his nursery and brought a copy of them to the hospital with us:

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
even the darkness will not be dark to You;
the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to You.
For You created my inmost being;
You knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,Your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.
Psalm 139:11-16

None of this went as I had planned - praise be to God for HIS wisdom!

Reed Matthew Gardner
Sept 21, 2009 @ 3:18pm
4lbs 3.3 oz
17 1/2 inches
Head: 11 1/2 inches
Chest: 10 1/2 inches

Sept. 21!

We went to the specialist today and my amniotic fluid had dropped. It was not in the dangerous level, but was borderline. We talked to my OB and she scheduled for me to be induced this Monday, Sept 21 at 8:00AM! None of these last few weeks have been as we invisioned, but we know we are loved and prayed for by so many! Please continue to lift this new life to the Creator of life. Our concern at this point is that his lungs may not be as developed as they need to be, but we are thankful for modern medicine and smart doctors!

Some explained but not much changed

Went to the OB today. She better explained the amnio results. In order for his lungs to be considered mature he needed to score a 55 and a "positive" in another category. As of last Friday (when the test was done) he scored a 20 and a "negative". I guess these numbers can change pretty rapidly and that caucasian males tend to develop their lungs later between 37-39 weeks (and today we arrived at 37 weeks). She expects the specialist to do another amnio tomorrow or early next week. She gave me her cell # to call her with the results so they could schedule an induction based on the results. We explained to her that we were in no hurry as long as it was ok for the baby we would wait as long as he needed. She seemed to relax when we told her and she said that we would wait then to schedule the next appointment based on the next two visits to the specialist. I am now dialated between 1 and 2 centimeters and about 75% effaced.

Second verse same as the first

Went to the specialist today. The baby has gained 4oz over the last 10 days. Normally in the last weeks of pregnancy a baby gains 8oz a week. The specialist seems to have decided that the baby is probably just a small baby - he said that no one was going to stop me if I went into labor, but we may do another amnio early next week and decide where to go from there. I go to the OB on Thursday and the specialist again on Friday. Thanks for all the prayers! Please continue lifting the sweet boy up!

Amnio Results

We got the results of the amnio test this morning and it turns out that his lungs are not fully developed so he gets to stay in longer! One of the good things about this result is that it tells us he is not under stress. It also tells us good or bad, that he is a slow developer whether because he is just going to be a slow grower or because of some developmental problem which we will only be able to discover after he is born. For now, things will continue as they have, thank you for your continued prayers.

The future is cloudy - but the fluid is not!

Is that TMI? :-) We went to the specialist today. He said the baby looked great on the ultrasound and he wanted to do an amnio. The amnio would tell us one of two things: (1) The lungs are not developed - implications: he is a slow developer and we will do another amnio in another week; (2) The lungs are developed - implications: he is developed enough to come out and the decision to induce would be up to my OB. When we did the amnio, the amniotic fluid was cloudy and the tech told us that the cloudier the fluid, the more developed the baby was. We hope to hear the results back this afternoon, but it takes about 4 hours and the specialist's office closes early on Fridays. I should be hearing from the person on call, but you know how those things go...Once I hear from the test results, I call my OB and tell her the results, then she makes the decision from there. We could have a baby sometime this week - or not! God, as He always has been, is in control. I really don't know which way to pray anymore and am glad He knows what's best for the baby.

Thursday OB update

Met with the OB this afternoon. They did another ultrasound and even though she told us to ignore the weight # since it hasn't been long enough (10 days) to have a good solid result, he measured at 3 lbs 13 oz which would be a possible gain of about a quarter pound. The OB was very reassuring saying that everything looked good and it just seemed he was going to be a little one, but she is deferring to the specialist. We go to the specialist again tomorrow and we will see what he says. We've made it to 36 weeks today and are praying that we can make it to 37 or beyond!

No significant update

I went to the specialist today. David wasn't able to go with me but I am glad that my mother-in-law was able to accompany me. They did another ultrasound where they checked the flow of the umbilical cord, flow through the brain, and flow from the kidney to the heart. He scored 8/8 on his BioPhysical Profile and all of the flows were great. Amniotic fluid was at a great level. They didn't measure his weight because they like to wait 10 days between measuring weight. I, on the other hand, have dropped one pound and my BP was 112/60! We go to my regular OB on Thursday and back to this specialist on Friday. The nurse practictioner that we saw today mentioned that the specialist might discuss doing an amnio to check for lung development. Please continue to pray that he gains weight and please pray that we won't need to do an amnio. Thanks!

Update on Baby Gardner

We went to my OB this morning for a follow up. My BP was still a little high 130/90. They did another ultrasound and the baby had only gained about 5oz. My Dr called a Fetal Specialist and spoke to him because the weight of the baby at this point (35wks/3 lbs 9oz) fell under the 3 percentile and she was a little concerned. She said everything about the baby looked normal but she didn't know why he was small, he just didn't seem to be getting enough nutrients even though, from the ultrasound, the placenta and cord looked good. We saw the specialist this afternoon who took another more diagnostic ultrasound (and my BP which was 112/73 - how crazy is that?!?!)and he concluded the same. They don't have any physical reason why he isn't getting bigger. They both prescribed modified bed rest (I can get up to do menial tasks like go the bathroom or get a glass of water) and are going to keep a close eye on things (I have an appt every day but Wed. next week) and hope that he can make it to 37 weeks. If he is ok to make it to 37 weeks, then they will induce. They are preparing us to have a premie baby and that he may need to spend a few nights/weeks in the hospital. Right now, all signs look good that I will not need a c-section, but that, of course, is subject to change depending on the baby's situation. I will keep you posted...

A LOVEly week/weekend

A week ago my blood pressure was found to be a little high and the doctor told me to rest whenever I was not at work. This is not a comfortable thing to do in our house with just the couches - it's not easy to put your feet on the coffee table for long periods of time. So I called the store where I had ordered a glider/recliner/ottoman courtesy of my wonderful in-laws. I asked when they thought my chair would be in. The man chuckled at me and said, "You just ordered it 2 weeks ago and it usually takes 4-6 weeks to come in." I was so sad - this was Tuesday. Thursday I went back to the doctor who told me my blood pressure was still high and since it was probably a genetic predisposition I could either quit working or take some meds. I sold out and am taking the meds since I would rather spend time with my baby not working AFTER he comes than resting by myself before he comes. That same day I got a call from the baby furniture store saying that my chair was in!! It was a complete wonderful surprise! Saturday morning David and Mark took Mark's truck to pickup the chair and I have been sitting in it ever since! (it's not the most flattering picture - mainly because I hadn't showered yet)

David insisted that I sit in the chair most of Saturday. Earlier in the week our friends Luke and Amanda invited David and I over for dinner, "before the baby is born" she said. David insisted I rest all day before we went to dinner. We took Bentley with us to dinner since we were going to see his bestest friend Bandit. We walked in and I put Bentley down and started saying hi to Luke and Amanda and two other friends who were there for dinner. I turned the corner and about 35 other people in the living room came out of hiding and quietly said, "SURPRISE!" (So as not to raise my blood pressure or send me into labor!) I was so surprised I immediately started to cry! A plastic coconut with some refreshing drink (non-alcoholic) was placed in my hand, a long flowery wrap was wrapped around me and a purple lei was put around my neck! It was a Luau for my 30th birthday surrounded by my dearest friends! It was a fantastic surprise with great food, a wonderful home-made raspberry angel food cake and good friends. I can't believe the secret was kept so well!

Sunday I stayed home from church knowing I needed to rest for the day ahead. The church was throwing me a shower at Eden's house. The theme? Nautical. I am not the decorator type so I decided I wasn't going to stress myself out over having to decorate a nursery. My wonderfully talented friends who love to decorate took it upon themselves to find decorations and help make the room a nursery. These decorations (sailboats, anchors, liferings, etc.) were all around the house and it was beautiful! Everytime I turned around I saw something different that was so cute!

I had an idea to see if mom could come to the shower via Skpe Webcam and thanks to Rachel and MC, two persistant and talented problem solvers, she was able to connect and be a part of this wonderful day! I think I opened presents for nearly and hour and a half straight! I am so blessed to have so many wonderful people who love me! It took my car and my neighbors SUV to get it all back home. What a blessed, well dressed, clean and loved little boy we are having! Even before he could possibly comprehend it - he is loved by so many - not becaue of who he is or because of who David and I are but because we belong to the family of God. I hope these truths can be shown as he grows into his teenage years when he needs to understand it most!!

One of the favorite gifts for David is the Cubs jersey given to us by the aforementioned Luke and embroidered by the aforementioned MC.

After the annual fish fry at church following the shower, David and I enjoyed going back through all the of the gifts. Even Bentley got involved as he tried to take off with a bath rubber duck thinking it was something for him! Poor dear, he is in for a very surprising shock. I told David that we need to make him watch "Lady and the Tramp" because Jim Dear and Darling have a baby in the begining of the movie and Lady is a little confused by her drop in social status.

The baby is at 34 1/2 weeks. We are hoping he can go all the way to 40! Go baby GO!